Date nights
by Jonathan D. Allard
Summary: Hannah convinses Tony to take her out, so he can show her that not all guys are dicks. I always wondered why Tony is one of the reasons on Hannahs paper this is my awnser.
1. Chapter 1

arthors note: I have always wondered why Tony was on Hannah's sheet of she trusts him and why Tony is so hard hit by her death.

WARNING! : I'm dislextic

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"Take me on a date." She said out of the blue, sitting on the mechanics table in her flowered dress, swinging her bare legs back and forth. I takes a second before the shock wears off, enough that Tony is able to move again.

"You do know I'm not interested in you that way, right?" He says as he tries not to look at her, wiping his greasy hands in the rack by his side.

"I'm not stupid." Hannah sighs. "It's just, sometimes I think guys are all assholes and it would be nice to just go out with someone that makes me feel special." Tony looks up at her and sees her anticipation, she sits still, no longer swinging her legs.

"Your saying, that I make you feel special?" Tony was surprised

"You're the only one that hasn't groped my ass or tried to get with me for being a slut." Her voice is hard and has a bite to it.

"Seriously I'm the only guy who doesn't try to grab your ass?" Tony was choked that he was the only one that showed her that curtesy of respect. The only one that didn't believe the rumors, but why would she want him to take her out.

"Pretty much." she said

Tony can't help feeling for the girl. If he was the one that was being harassed like she was, he would have punched someone ages ago. There was just something he didn't understand, why would she want it to be with a guy she knows that will never be into her.

"Why don't you ask Clay?" Even if it hurts Tony to say the words, he knows the way his friend looks at her. Like she hung the moon

"Firstly, he's away for the whole summer. Secondly, well... We are friends, but I think he likes me. I'm not sure that I'd be ready for... for whatever it is that can be between us. That's why it should be you. You won't get mixed signals or get your feelings hurt in the process.You'd be the perfect gentleman." Tony can't help but snort at her words. He knows he is a great catch and would be a great date.

"Fine I'll take you out:" what harm could come in helping out a friend. I didn't matter if they called it a date or hanging out. And it helped Hannah be better to pick out her men, then he would probably do everyone a big favor.

"You will?!" she sounds surprised, like she didn't expect him to go along with her idea.

"Of cause. I like you Hannah, you are my friend." That said a lot, because Tony didn't have many friends. But that was probably because he never really needed more than those he had. He had high standards and didn't need someone around him he didn't like or trust.

"Tony you're the best." Hannah said with a bright smile, she goes back to relaxing with her leg swinging from the table. Tony goes back to working on her car. He works in silence as she just sits and watches him work.

It takes less than 20 minutes before the car has an entire new set of wheels on, oil checked and springer wash was filled.

"You know you could do this yourself, right?" It wouldn't hurt her to know the basics oflooking after her car.

"But then I wouldn't have the chance to appreciate seeing you in uniform, all sweaty and hardworking." she said teasingly.

"Are you flirting with me?!" Tony couldn't be live what she had just said. She was objectifying him. Something she had had firsthand experience with. Hannah picked up on Tony's mock horror.

"It's all harmless I promise! I know you're not into me, and I'm definitely not into you. It's good practice flirting, you know, to when you actually have to use it. Besides who doesn't like a little compliment from time to time." She shrugs her shoulders before jumping down the tablet.

"From someone without ulterior motives? "Tony asked with a raised brow getting what she means.

"Exactly" the way she smiles at him makes him genuinely smile back and laugh at how much they get each other.

He goes over to the table and picks up the keys to her truck, before getting into the black car and driving it out the shop. They never let clients drive out of the shop. Mostly because it can be a tight fit for some people and other times it's just to make sure they get there payment.

"All good to go" he said from the rolled down window. Tony doesn't kill the engineer before getting out of the car.

"I left my information at the disk and your brother said he would send a bill" she gets in behind the wheel.

"Great" he says as he turns and goes back towards the shop. Hannan gets to start checking the mirrors and doesn't realize that Tony has stopped and turned back around before he half leans in the open car window.

"Hey Hannah? Tony asks to get her attention."What are you doing Friday evening?" He asks with a big grin on his face. It makes Hannah smile right back at him; she knows what he is doing but plays along anyway. Smiling like a fool.

"Nothing much, why?"

"Do you wanna go on a date?"

"I don't know. I haven't had the best of luck with guys." she say playfully and pauses for dramatic effect. "But when it's you asking then, yes. I'd go out with you"

"Great I pick you up at 7."

"You know where I live?"

"You left your information at the front desk, didn't you?" Tony asks with a smirk and a single raised eyebrow.

"Cool see you then." she starts the car. Tony pulls back and let her dive off. However, she doesn't get two meters out of the driveway before she stops and sticks her head out of the still running car.

"Hey Tony!" he turns to look at her "where are we going?

"It's a surprise."

"I need to know"

"Why?"

"So, I know what to where?"

"Pick something nice but comfortable."

"Great! See you Friday" Hannah got back in her car and drove off.

"You got yourself a date?" Marco asked with raised eyebrows and a worry look on his face.

"Yeah" Tony answers his brother

"Does she know you like dudes?" Marco still sceptic

"Yes. That's why she wanted me to take her out." the worried and sceptic expression turned into one of confusion.

"White people are crazy." Marco shakes his head before turning around and walking back to the shop and picking up where he left up.

"Tell me about it." Tony laughed as he kept looking after the black Jeep until it was out at sight. He shook his head before going back to work. Planning the date, he would take her on that Friday.

(Any ideas to romantic dates anyone?!)


	2. Chapter 2

Hannah is standing in her room trying different outfits. She can't decide what to wear. Tony said she should wear something nice, but comfortable. What do that even mean? She doesn't want to wear jeans, but is a dress and heels trying to hard? She decides to go with a light summer dress in bright yellow. It hugs he figure nicely; it wasn't one she had picked out herself. Hannah didn't really do bolt colors, but her mother had like it on her. Maybe some color would be a good change, maybe it would her feel different about herself.

The dress itself was nice and it is functional, even if she's not that big fan of the color, she likes that it isn't sexist and has pockets deep enough for her to have her phone in them.

She pairs the plain, but bright sundress dress with her trusted denim jacket. The weather might be warm enough that she doesn't need it, but it is an extra layer of protection. She looks like herself. It's different, yes, but in a good way. She feels like this is a new start, something she has been ready for since she moved here.

"Hannah Honey, someone at the door for you" Her mom comes in the door. The look at her face speaks more than any words ever could. Hannah sees the approval in her mothers' eyes, she don't understand why because her mom is always on her about boys. It is clear she likes Tony and that makes Hannah feel warm inside. Her mother's approval makes her proud of herself, like she did something right.

"It can't be." she looks to the clock and see that yes; it is indeed seven. Hannah panics, she hasn't done anything to her hair or makeup, she hasn't even picked out shoes yet!

"Can you give me 5 more minutes?"

"Of course, but any longer and I might go in your stead. He is cute and well mannered." Her mom leaves her to do just the basic in this time she has left. Socks and her short boats will have to do. She grabs her mascara and hastily, cotes her lashes twice before throwing it over her shoulder. The container lands among the scattered clothing on the bed she had hard time picking from. She doesn't storm out the room, out on the plato and down the stairs, but it's a near thing.

She came to an abrupt stop when she saw him standing in the hallway. He wasn't wearing his normal leather jacket or combat boots, but dress shoes and a light denim jacket, which somehow made him look so different, softer and younger at the same time. He looked like what she needed.

It was first then, she saw what he was holding, a bundle of flowers, not roses mind you. But bouquet of gladioli flowers, it really surprised her that Tony knew she didn't like roses or maybe he didn't, that wasn't what mattered. He had gotten her flowers.

"You're ready?" Tony smiles at Hannah slightly confused face. She can only hum out an agreement still watching him with wonder, confusion and a little amount of worry.

"These are for you." she had never gotten flowers before. What did they mean? As she carefully took the flowers Tony was passing her, she noticed the light fragrant of the beautiful multicolored orange pedals. They were so Nice she couldn't help feeling something surge deep within her. It was a mixture of happiness, gratitude and sadness.

"Yeah" she made sure to control her voice so her mom and Tony wouldn't hear the emotions in it.

"Could you?" She turns to her mom, who was smiling from ear to ear. Hannah was sure they both shared the shine she saw in her mother's eyes.

"Of course. I'll put them in water, off you go." Olivia said. When Tony opened the front door and waited for her to exit first that turmoil in her stomach was back. It was nice, but scary.

"Oh, Tony home before 11!" Hannah's dad called from the living room.

"Yes Sir." He answered before closing the door. Walking towards the red Mustang, with subtle but quick strides he had reached the passenger side of the car just a moment before Hannah did, before she could ask what he was doing. He had opened the car door for her, holding out a hand for her to grab as she climbed in the precisely clean car. There were just something about that small gesture that made her wonder if she really had bad taste in guys.

"Where are we going?" Hannah turned towards Tony and asked him as he started the engine that purred deep and low.

"To a small place I know." Tony looks her over with a side glance.

"You look beautiful." He says it so earnest and soft that she is taken by surprise, she believes his words, because Tony is the most honest person she knows.

"Thanks" She blushes a little and starts fiddling with the rim of the dress. She believes not only his words but also believes his message and it convinces her that she is beautiful, not only to him but also to herself. She can't help but fight the urge to laugh and cry all the same time.

Tony had decided to take Hannah to a small and rather private restaurant. She had asked him to make her feel special, he was going to give it to her. Hence the flowers, opening the door and telling her she looked beautiful. It wasn't a false compliment, because she really looked radiant in the bright dress. It made her look younger more carefree. Like she must have done before transferring to Liberty High. The look suited her.

"We're here" He says as he pulls over and gets out of the car. Hannah is fast getting out of the car. "Come on." He extends his arm to her and it takes a second to realize what she is supposed to do, but she takes his arm and lets herself be escorted into the restaurant.

"Name for reservation?" They are met by a manager.

"Padilla"

"Great, please come this way Sir." He checks the log and motions them to follow.

"You really out did yourself Tony." Her voice was playful, but Tony could sense that was more to that statement. He doesn't call her out on it instead he just escorts her after the manager.

They are placed at a window table that overlooks the peer. It being summer, the sun still lingers on the sky. It is hanging low enough that the reflection of it in the ocean is turning the sea a tinge of orange.

With a playful smile he pulls out the chair for her and see her astonished expression, her mask must have slipped, because it doesn't take more than a second before it is hid behind a smile that doesn't reach her eyes. Tony know some of what the rumors, but he knew that it wasn't true. Rumors never were.

They are both given menus. One look at Hannah and he knows she is uncomfortable. He can't help but watch her face going from impressed to slightly horrified, raised eyebrows wide eyes shooting up meeting his.

"I didn't realize it was a fancy place" She must have noticed the price, or the fact that there are none.

"Don't worry about it." He smiles at her; he knows the owner. He had Tony hunt down a missing piece to restore his antique car a few months back. So, he spoke to him about repairing him the favor of getting to come date at the restaurant sometime, but when School had been in and not having anyone to take, he just hasn't used the favor. But using it with Hannah seemed like the perfect choice. Who else was he gonna take? It wasn't like he was asking any guys out.

They each pick what they want when the server comes to take their order. Hire drinks comes short after and they are left alone at the table with the burning candle overlooking the sea.

"Can I ask you, why you let the boys of Liberty High walk all over you. Anyone for that matter."

"I don't have anyone to turn to."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't have any friends, that will back me up Tony."

"You do, you just don't you think you do."

"Do you mean you?"

"Sure."

"I'm not a damsel in distress!"

"But aren't you? Isn't it why you asked me to show you a good time?" the question is spoken softly and not meant to hurt her, but it is clear that it has.

"I can take care of myself."

"I doubt that."

"What are you saying?" its clear that she is offended and wants to just walk away.

"I know it's not my place to tell you what to do or judge your choices but try looking at your choices. You can't help end up with shitty people." It calms her down, heaven know why. Tony doesn't always understand girls, but what he dos understand is, that they are complex beings that you're not always suppose to understand.

"Maybe I could do with a bit saving." Hannah says with a sigh and a hollow laugh. They don't talk about school after that. They get their amazing food, with let them to talk about life, family and about their big dreams.

"Really you don't have any dreams?" Hannah askes surprised.

"No, I do, but that's not that big." Tony answers feeling a bit shy.

"So, what are you big, but not no big dream?" Hannah can't help but be curious, because eferthing a bout Tony's image of a bad boy seems to be all wrong. Hannah really believed he was but she never realized he was this down to earth and fun to be around.

"Find someone and fall madly in love, have a family and work at the shop."

"That's it?" She can't really get over how simple and achievable his big dream is.

"I'm a simple man." He shrugs his shoulders.

"I like it, it way better than going to New York and becoming a writer." He takes her hand on the table. It forces her to look up at him.

"My dream doesn't have to be yours; you should go off and be a writer if that is what you want." Hannah can't help but smile because Tony is right. He might just be exactly what she needs.

After driving home, listening to one of the mixtapes Tony followed her to the door. Every small thing he had done tonight had been perfect. Tony had made her feel special, more than any other guy before. She didn't know what to way, it was only when he started to walk away that she grabbed his hand. Because she needed to tell him about what he had done for her. She needed to tell him how grateful she was for this. Being shown how all the little things matter, but it seems she can't so instead she goes for humor.

"Isn't this where you are supposed to kiss me goodbye?" It's clear that Tony is caught of guard. It only takes a second for him to bounce back.

"I'm not supposed to kiss you on the first date, it isn't respectable to do before making my intention know to your father." They both laugh. Hannah squeezes his hand and says what she really wanted to say. Doing her best in saying the things that matters.

"I had a nice time tonight."

"I did too, you are fun to be around." He says in such a caring way that she believes him with all her heart.

"You don't have to wait three days to call me." The tenseness between them is lifted with her joke.

"Good to know." He laughs and walks back towards the car.

"Are you gonna call me?!" she yells after him, smiling from ear to ear, it's said as a joke, but she really what to do this again. Tony is a great guy and a good friend.

"Definitely" he yells back with a smile before getting into the car driving off. Hannah is left on the doorstep feeling giddy and hopeful.

* * *

ANY IDEARS FOR FUTUR DATES? I think I wanna continu this for at leate a coupel more chapters, to make them become close enough that Tony would keep her secred.


	3. Chapter 3

Her flowers are still bright and alive lighting her room up with thine pressure and distinctive yet subtle floral smell when her Phone rings.

She doesn't recognize the number but takes it anyway. She figured if it was someone, she didn't want to talk to she could just hang up.

"This is Hannah."

"Hey Hannah." the voice on the other side of the phone was unmistakable

"What's up Tony?"

"Just calling to see if you had a great time the other night."

"The best date in my life so far."

"You really don't have that much luck with boys do you?" the question is rhetorical but Hannah still feels ecco of the hurt that Tony presses on the other night, but he was right, she was unlucky. It might help if she admitted she had a problem, that's how addicts start; isn't it? They have to accept there is a problem in order to break the pattern.

"At least I have you set a good example" she really wanted to break the pattern, find someone that liked her for her, someone honest and nice and romantic.

"Yeah," she can hear his smile, which only make her smile harder.

"So, are you gonna ask me out again?" Tony hears the unsurety in her voice, and makes him wonder if he is doing the right thing, if she wants him to.

"Do you want me to?"

"Yes," she answers quickly, maybe to quick, but she can't help it. Every time she looks at those flowers or just get a whiff of them she is filled with the feelings of giddy wonder and she want that to happen again. She wants it to happen in real life, not just in her memory. But if the only place she can have nice dates is in her memory. She wants to create more with Tony, so she can keep them with her later and treasure them.

"Okay I will." The line became silent until Tony spoke again." Are you there?"

"Jep"

"Why… oh I'm suppose to ask you now?"

"Si señor." She makes fun of him. Just the fact she can be this way around him, makes her think that maybe she hadn't changed so much that she still can't be the fun carefree Hannah Baker she was before Liberty High, before she had helped bully that girl out of School. Maybe she was paying back for what she had done then. Karma, as they say, tends to be a bitch.

"Wanna go hang out?" he asks casually as if she just picked up the phone

"Sure, where?"

"I don't know, where do you wanna go?"

"Let's go get ice cream, this weather is too hot for anything else."

"Okay, I'm gonna pick you up."

"Great see you in a bit." Hannah says before hanging up. Immediately she looks herself over in the mirror and find that her hair probably needs a washing or at the very least brushing before going into the public eye. She brushes it and braid it to keep her curly hair under control. She deems her outfit of shorts and a loose shit good enough to go out in. They weren't doing anything special, just going for ice cream, she told herself. Hannah wouldn't say she hovered by the door waiting for the red mustang to pull up, but if someone had asked Olivia, she would have said that her daughter definitely hovered by the door

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

"That doesn't look like nothing" she looks her daughter over searching for something. "Is it that boy?"

"What boy?" she played stupid in hopes that her mother might give up her questions, but Hannah had no such luck

"That Tony fella."

"What about him?" she avoids her mother's question.

"Is he your boyfriend?"

"NO" she should have known that denying it that hard would only egg her mother on.

"Do you want him to be?" Did she want him to be? She couldn't help herself asking it in the own privacy of her mind. Tony was nice, but she had also thought that about Justin, Bryce and some of the other guys that she went to school with who she did find out that they were assholes. Maybe she should take that question up to evaluation later, when she knew him a bit better.

"Is he picking you up again?"

"Yes"

"Should I be worried?"

"No mom, we're just friends going for ice cream."

"Hmm, with a guy that buys you flowers?"

"Gotta go, Tony's here." She says, before storming out the door, escaping the questioning. She runs to the car afraid if she don't hurry her mother might embarrass her by shouting more questions at her, demanding answers.

They drive down to the pear, Tony shows her the best place to buy ice cream, it is a parked truck, there is no line, probably because the place looks like a dump.

"Is this safe?"

"What do you mean?"

"Am I gonna get food poisoning from that thing?"

"No, it might not look at much, but they make the best ice cream you will ever find in this city."

"You know a lot of places around town?" She asked as they got out of the Mustang and approached the ice cream truck from hell.

"I have lived here all my life."

"Do you like it here?

"It's okay"

"A cone with two scoops, one with chocolate and the other mint." She orders before turning and continuing the conversation with Tony. "What do you mean?"

"Same," he orders "just with peach and coffee." He turns back towards her. "It's not the place that makes a home, but the people and I have all that I need, so what more can I ask for?" He smiles at her. Hannah pays, for both ice creams. Not without a fuss from Tony. But after arguing that he had taken her out somewhere fancy and gotten her flowers that wasn't some cheap store-bought once, she could tread him to an ice cream.

The move from the shade of the truck out in the saw like waking out in a funess

"How are you not cooking in those jeans, I feel like I'm baking in only my shorts."

"I guess it's the Latino blood in me." He jokes. She can't help but laugh at him, before wiring off. He stopes to look for her for a second before he starts to walk in her direction.

"Where are we going exactly?" He asks as Hannah keeps walking.

"To the water. I don't know about you but I'm gonna stick my feet in." Tony just rolls his eyes with a fond look and follows her.

They eat most of the ice cream come in silence, just sitting enjoying the light breeze that rolls in with the waves from time to time bare feet in the water. Socks and shoes shattered were they had been toed off. The sound of the waves and the seagulls was supposed to be therapeutic. Tony seams to enjoy the quiet silence. Normally Hannah can't relax, the quite scared her, because it's in the silence that she heard that voices in her head, that tells her she deserves what she is getting, that she is a slut and a retard that can't be pretty. But there is just something about Tony's presents that keeps that voice out, shuts it before they even get the hooks in her.

"Is it good?" She asks.

"The peach?"

"Mmm" she hums with another mouthful of mint ice cream.

"I like it, its sorbet."

" I don't think I ever had that before."

"Wanna taste?" He reaches out and offers it to her. To some people it would be most natural to take it with their hand and then taste it. But that doesn't accrue to Hannah before she has already learned in and licked the ice, gripping Tony's underarm to steady it and guide the cone to her mouth. She can't help herself from groaning when the flavor and consistency hit her mouth.

"That good hugh?" One lifted eyebrow tells her everything she needs to know, and she blushes fiercely.

"I'm getting that next time. That is so good" she tries to ignore her outburst. Hoping he won't comment on her sounding like a slut. They continue to talk for a while as they eat.

"Can I ask you something?" he doesn't look at her, but she sees that he is tense and what he has to ask must be important.

"Of cause."

"Why not ask Clay out? I know I have asked it before, but I just dot get it. You like him, I can see that. and it's clear he likes you and he is a good guy." She doesn't answer him right away witch makes him shift his eyes to her. She doesn't want to look at him, so she lies back and looks at the blue sky.

"I don't know Tony. I just think I'm too much of a romantic, with the believe that it should be the guy that askes the girl out."

"What are you gonna do if it only shit heads that are gonna ask you out for the rest of your life?" he askes with an edge. Hannah doesn't understand his sudden irritation with her.

"What do you meen?" She covers up the hurt a snort of a sarcasm.

"You are responsible for your own happiness." He tells her as he to lies down looking up, with his his feet and legs hanging in the water, jeans folded up to his knees. "If you're not gonna do something how do you suppose your gonna get what you want."

"it's just Clay never said anything or tried to show that he likes me."

"You know clay he can be a bid..." Tony was looking for the words.

"Dumb?" Hannah offerd.

"Not the word I was looking for, but with a lack of better, then yes, he can be a bid dumb."

"Have you known him long?"

"For the longest time." Hannah is glad she turns to look at Tony, because she catches the hurt smile on his face, eyes full of something she recognizes as heartsickness. She doesn't know why, she doesn't ask, she doesn't really wanna know. She has enough to battle on her own she is just glad they can do it side by side. She reaches out for his hand; she fears his rejection but she feels fluttery when he lets her take it. They don't talk they just coexist in the same space. And that is somehow better then getting flowers and dining fancy. Laying here holding his hand as support is just better. She can't describe it.


	4. Chapter 4

"What are you doing here?" He had heard apoching steps, but figured it was his dad coming to say something. Tony was surprised to see Hannah standing in the shop, looking lost.

"I'm having a shit day, I could use your company"

"I can't do anything today, I have to work."

"I know, its okay" Hannah seems to become even smaller and more fragile.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"No not really"

"Okay" the silence became heavy between them. Tony didn't know how to make her feel better.

"Can I stay and watch you work?" she asks, looking down at the floor as if she expected a hard no.

"Sure" Tony might not be able to leave and go have some adventure today, but that didn't mean he couldn't be there when his friend needed him.

Tony picked up working after Hannah had sat down to look at him work. The tension and bad energy was radiating of her in such amount that working became hard. Her presence, the empty steer made it impossible to concentrate on the task at hand.

"I have an idea, follow me." Hannah seemed curious and followed without a complaint. Tony let them back to the changing room. He stuck his head in to make sure no one was inside before he opened the door for the both of them. He motient to Hannah to go in.

"I can't go in there"

"Why not?"

"It's a men's changing room."

"That didn't stop you from storming the boys locker room, filled with naked guys." Tony says daring her.

"Fine" She scouls and follow him in the room. Had it been any other guy asking her, she would have stopped and thought about his intention.

Tony goes to one of the lockers and pulls out a mechanic suite and and handing it to her, she takes it hesitantly.

"Take it on." Hannah looks from the blue outfit in her hands and back to Tony as if he has grow a second head.

"You don't want to ruin your clothes?"

"Is Marco, okay with me borrowing it?" she asks when running her fingers over the name tag.

"It will be fine. I think he will appreciate the smell of perfume instead of sweat." Tony smiles and turns to leave the room giving Hannah the privacy to change.

"If you don't want to overheat you should probably take some of your own close of before getting that on." He say it over his shoulder in the doorway.

Tony stay by the door as Hannah changes, which leads to her giving a fright when opening the door and camming out.

"I feel like I'm wearing a tent." she comments as they walk back into the garage.

Tony can't help but laugh at the tone, the way she's says it, a bid whiny. He knows he isn't supposed to laugh at her, with what she had said. But what does it help to cry?

"What are you laughing at?" Hannah glowers at him

"Nothing" he smiles "It kind of suite you."

"It do not!" her eyes take on a edge that shows anger mixed with the hurt. Didn't she know? Tony sobered up from his laughter and became quite serious.

"You know you would look pretty in garbage bag, right?" He tells her, meaning every word of it, because no matter what she would wear she still was the kind of girl that looked beautiful in anything.

"No, I'm not" she grow defencive real quick, not believing his words. Hannah feels like it is to far from reality, to be real. She don't see herself like that, she special, as Clay said, special as like a retard. Not a pretty girl, not like Jessica.

She feels hurt and angry at Tony for lying to her face. Betrayed that the one she trusted would ever do that to her. Tony steps closer and puts a hand on her shoulder capturing her eyes with his deep soft brown ones.

"You really don't see your own beauty?" Hannah can't believe the disbelieve in his voice and sadness in his eyes. She knows this expression it is one she has used a lot lately. When people don't believe you, you use that face. And suddenly she is aware that Tonys words aren't mean and meant to hurt her, but kind and true. He really believes that she is beautiful.

"You think?" she asks skeptical still not really believing it.

"When have you known me to lie?" he responds with a lifted brow and a crooked smile. She smiles back with a sad smile feeling gratitude towards Tony. She hopes that someday Tony might be right. His words warm her heart and get the butterflies in her stomach she thought was gone forever stir. The feeling takes her by surprise, she never thought it would be Tony that would make her feel something like this again.

"Come on, let's get to work"

Tony explains werries things about cars and how they work, how they are but together and what you should be careful taking apart.

He puts Hannah to work, keeping closely eye on her only giving easy tasks. They work in silence, only talking when Hannah asks if she is doing the right thing or if Tony sees she needs a little guidance. They keep working into the afternoon. They need a new part to fit it all together the old bolt is rusty and before putting it all together, Tony goes out back to find a new one.

Working, put everything that couldn't handle away. it didn't erais her trouble, but it made them mageble. she saw the appeal in picking a life with physical labor, it simple and uncomplicated thing. That must be why Tony love the machines, they never let you down. they always work any different, they won't change their mind or slap you in your face. she saw the appeal, but knew she would never be able to do it, her head would explode if she didn't empty it with words on a paper.

Hannah didn't hear him before he literally stands behind her. A tinch of fear passes through her, she doesn't know why though. Bryce is to close to her.

"I didn't know you had taken up mechanics."

"Just hanging out with Tony"

"Saw you two on the docks getting iscream the other day. Too bad he's not gonna give you what you want. I can still give you that." And before she can step away, he has a grip on her hips whispering things in her ear. Flirte things that would have worked on some of the cheerleaders, but all it did to Hannah was hold her in her fear and make her stomach turn.

"You really have great ass, even in a rags like that bending over." Hannah flices.

Before she knows what is happening, she sees Tony standing over at surprised Bryce, who is now sprawled on the floor.

"What the hell do you think you doing Bryce?!" Hannah sees something foreign and unpredictable in Tony. She sees a rage that she never thought could exist in such a easy going and gentle guy. It scared her. Not that she believed he would ever turn it on her, but it reminds her that you never really know someone, that there is always some deep dark side to people no matter how Nice they are.

"She didn't mind, did you Hannah?" He smirks half of his teeth crimson. Tony looked towards Hannah. She flinched at his hard and cold eyes, she couldn't find her voice and somehow Tony saw that fear. He is vulnerable just for a second, his mask slips and there is sorrow and hurt beneath it. Hannah recognize it. It is like looking into a mirror. She isn't afraid of Tony anymore, but she only realities that when he has already turned away to punch Bryce again. Punishing him for making Hannah scared of Tony.

"I think she does mind" his words are ice cold, but Hannah can't help feeling warmed by the words. This is the first time someone stood up for her here in this town. Even if it a bit cliche that a boy has just defended her honor with violence, she can't help but feel good about it. Most boys are assholes that only understand violence. She doesn't have it in her to punch someone like Bryce, she would only fear what would happen if she did. She can't help admire Tony for being brave.

"Stay away from her. You hear me!" He roars it in Bryce's face.

"Is there a problem here?" Raul asks as he steps out of the office. With Juan rolling out from under the car, he hearning the destirpence too.

"No Bryce was just leaving." Tony says, before lowering his voice "Don't bother coming back, your not welcome here." It is said with a whisper, but Hannah heard the cold threat in his words and judging by Bryce's expression, eyes that darted from Tony to his brothers and back again,he heard it loud and clear. Tony might not be big enough to go head to head with Bryce, but something in him had put the fear in Bryce. Maybe it was the same thing that she saw, Hannah thought. Maybe it was the deadly sting, that didn't come out unless he was provoked. Something not many people know that lies beneath the surface.

Bryce left, none the wiser why he had come.

Tony goes back to working on the car, hands shaking with anger. Hannah didn't know what to do. She just stood there until Raul came to stand beside her handling her a frosne bag of peas.

"Here give this to Tony. He is more likely to take it from you." he says softly. Hannah takes the bag and goes to him.

"Give me your hand." She says.

"Why?" Be bites at her.

"Just give me your damned hand!" She bites back, not caring that that Tony is a bit pricey. he might be able through a sting at her, but her armor was to touch to let it in, it had to be. Hannah knows it doesn't mean anything, that he isn't angry at her. He stops working and reaches out his hand. It is red and some of his knuckles are split. Even if she hadn't been in fights, she knows that those red spots will become black with bruises, that they will hurt for sometime.

"You didn't have to do that for me," she says as she puts the ice on it. She couldn't say what she really wanted to.

"No but I wanted to." He doesn't look at her.

"I'm not scared of you, just so you know" she says waiting for him to look up. When he does it with warm eyes that his smile reaches.

"Good."


	5. Chapter 5

The weather was disgustingly hot and heavy, the kind of whether you were feel like you inhale water instead of air. No matter how much you sweat your temperature doesn't go down because the humidity is the equivalent to a bathtub. It was a perfect day for Hannah's mood to fit right in with the threading thunder could rolling in from sea. Dark and silent. A summer storm waiting, building its potential until it would release it up anyone that went in her path. That was what was storms were called, they were always female, always by name, but only the biggest and worst of them. Hannah wondered that if she was a storm, would she destroy everything in her path or even touch the people around her? Would she be a storm at all, or just a gust of wind? Forgotten and ignored, never given a name because of her unworthiness.

It might be hot as seven Hell outside, but sitting at her table at Monet's with a hot chocolate was making everything more bearable.

"You're okay?" she heard the voice from behind her. She sighed, she had seen him come in, but hoped he would leave her to her self-pity, she didn't want to drag Tony into her foul mood, she just wanted to be left alone with her undrunk hot chocolate, that no longer could be categorized as warm chocolate, now it was just chocolate, disgusting sweet and room temperature.

"Can I sit?" Hannah didn't answer she just kept looking into the cup as if the chocolate held all the answer to life, as it had earlier that year when she had first started drinking it with Jessica and Alex. Back then everything was great, now it all just felt unimportant and unreal.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" It was like the chocolate mocked, it had ever since she paid for it. Hannah didn't really want the drink, just the feeling that use to come with it.

"I don't see what it would help!" She looks up in schork of her own words, much harder and sharper then she meant to speak them. Hannah didn't want to push Tony away, or maybe she did. something wasn't right between them, not since he had punched Bryce for her. He looks at her puzzled before shaking his head.

"Okay I'm just gonna go." He says as he gets up and leave.

She knows she isn't supposed to let him go, but she just don't wanna do shit today, she don't wanna put on a mask and pretend, he just wants to sit with her stupid cup of chocolate and hold her own pity party were no one else is invited. But before she knows what she is doing her feet has her up and hastily walking after the hispanic boy.

"Tony, I'm sorry." She says when she reaches him outside.

"I'm having a shit day." it isn't an explanation as much as a statement, but she feels the need to tell him that it isn't him she's mad at, that it isn't him her anger is supposed to fall onto.

"It sounds like you have more of those then you have good ones." The look in his eyes speaks of understanding and compassion, but not forgiveness. She has hurt him with words for no more reason then making him feel just as shitty as her. Hurting just for the sake of hurting him.

"It's not fair that I let my shit out on to you." and as she spoke the sky started to release what water it had its dark clouds.

"Hop in." Tony said and Hannah took the olive branch and jumped into the car.

Tony didn't take off right away. He took a sip of his coffee and judging by the expression it was too hot to drink, not like Hannah's forgotten chocolate.

"So you don't wanna talk about it?"

"No"

"Then how do you expect things to get better?"

"Expecting things, don't that require that you believe that it can get better?"

"Don't you think things can get better?" He asked as turned towards her and gave her his attention, dark eyes trying to solve the riddle she had become.

"Dost it matter what I think? The world always proves me wrong." She scoffed and looked out the passenger side avoiding his gaze.

"Why is it that you always so negative?"

"I'm not, it just how the world is."

"If you don't change the way you view the world, the world won't changes." Hannah feel her irritation grow, because what does he know about the world and what she is going through. That her dad is cheating on her mom, that they are always fighting, and it is her fault that they are doing so bad. It's her fault that they moved here, it her fault that the store is not doing so well. It's all her fault. Then she can't help but laugh, because Tony was right. If she didn't talk about it how was he gonna know?

"Something funny?"

"No, its just ironic, because your right."

"I am most of the time." She wasn't ready to talk not today, maybe she would be next time he asked her if she wanted to talk. Then she would know how to tell him what was going on.

"Can we just drive?"

"That we can! Where are we going to day?"

"I don't care."

"Okay." Tony answered before turning the key in the engine popping a tape in the player and driving off into the wet road.

They drow without talking, Tony sipping his coffee from time to time. Hannah didn't pay much attention of where they were going before Tony was pulling of the road that let into a small dirt road, leading them out to a viewpoint over the city.

"You took me to the classic make out spot?"

"I didn't have much time to prepare this date, now did I?" it seemed that the sky had emptied everything it had down in one go, because even if the clouds still was dark the rain had stopped just as sudden as it had come.

"Come on" Tony popped out of the car leaving the tape playing.

"What is it?" Hannah said as she follows him to the fence guarding the visitors from the cliff.

"Look at it" he said as he gestured to the city with his head.

"What is there to look at, is just a city."

"What do you see when you look at it?"

"Buildings, lights, cars?"

"It's so much more than that."

"What do you mean? What do you see?"

"I see people, families. I see stories. Good and bad experiences." Hannah didn't understand what he was saying, it must have shown on her face because he started to explain himself still looking out over the city.

"People shape each other, shape everything around them, they might not know it before they see it from afar. It's just like looking at this city, people have shaped it, to fit them. you have the different neighborhoods, you might not see the clear changes when you go from one to another but you know that you are in a different part of the city, with different kind of people." he paused and looked at her before looking back over the city leaning on the fence.

"It's not the bricks and cement or cars that makes a difference in the story of each neighborhood, it's the people that shape them. All from the rich man building new apartments to the single kid painting the road with chalk. everyone has a place, and everything is connected. if something was"

"That makes sense." Hannah had never seen the world like that before. Tony's words struck something in her. Made a thought occurred to her, if everything was connected, she wouldn't just be a gust of wind, forgotten. She could be a storm, or at least strong enough to get up. She feels her thought close up on her, fearing if she speaks nothing but crying will come. Instead she let her har find him on the fence. Grabbing a tight hold on it, as if it was connecting her to the rest of the world. Tony Doesn't say anything or even look at her, he just let her take his hand and lace then together.

They stand there for a while in silence, hands linked together, looking at the town they both live in. That they both shape and are a part of.

"I really like this song." Hannah says, first growing aware what the song is after she has spoken.

"Dance with me." she says as she pulls Tony's hand with her. She couldn't help but laugh at his surprised face.

That was when how the rain found them when it decided to fall again. Slow Dancing, cheek to cheek, with soft music blaring from the red Mustang.

"Don't." Hannah spoke as Tony tried to pull away.

"We will get soaked."

"So, what, this feels nice." If she was honest the rain made this even more enjoyable. The cold drops of water and heat from she felt escaping the thin fabric of his shirt was such opposites that they shouldn't fit well together but did. It made her feel alive, the smell of him and the scent of thunder in the air sent a tingling sensation down her spine. Both exciting and relaxing at the same time. She felt calm and safe. Hannah took it all in again to remember, so she could use it later, on another rainy day so to speak. The word pun had her laughing and heaving for air.

"You're okay?" he doesn't pull back from there embrace

"Why shouldn't I be?"

"Your crying" he states as if it was the most obvious and normal thing to say.

"No, I'm not." And as she said it, she knew that she was indeed crying.

"Sure." He pulls away just enough to kiss her on the side of her forehead.

"Ugh, must be hormones." Hanna feels the laugher more than hears it. "You are the best date I ever had." She feels happy, no perhaps not happy, not truly, but sanding here swaying she was content and not even the summer storm could take that from her. None of her troubles could reach her here, they were all back in the city.


	6. Chapter 6

Everything felt great, the world seemed great and bright and so alive. Hannah was excited for tonight. Not about was what happening tonight, but about seeing Tony again. After the last time out she had promised herself to do better, not be a pessimist and try to be happy. She had promised herself that she should presu what made feel good. Tony makes her feel special and good about herself. Asking him to take her out had been the best thing she had done in a while.

They had agreed to meet up for a movie, but The Chesmont wasn't showing anything that they could agree n watching together. So, they decided to meet up at Hannahs and watch something that they both wanted to see. Tony had been reluctant to invite Hannah home to the Padilla resident, he had said it was because with a big family there were always people making noise and interrupting. A good movie didn't deserve interrupting and since he didn't have a tv in his room, he thought it would be best watching it at Baker residence.

They had planned it right, Andy and Olivia was going to dinner that night, which propperbly had a influence on Hannah's mood. Them going out must mean they had made up, that her dad was over whatever it was with that other woman and they could truly be a family again.

"Is that Tony fella coming over?" She looked at her mother in the mirror.

"why do you ask."

"you are preening for someone"

"No I'm not." The pitch in her voice gave away the lie. Even if Hannah didn't agree with her mom about the preining part, she was still looking her appearance over, making sure she was presentable for guests.

"I know you sweetheart."

"Is that a problem?" Hannah shifted her gaze from her own reflection to study her mother's reaction, worried what she might think, what she might say. What if it was a problem, what if her parents didn't want her to be alone with a boy without grownup supervision in the house. Did her mom really think that there were more going on than there is? that they are more than just friends

"Is what a problem?"

"That I'm having Tony over for movies on the couch."

"No, not at all"

"Them why do you ask?"

"Even if he's a nice boy and all I still think it's to early for me to be a grandmother."

"MOM!" she turned with a horrified expression to yell at her mom, but stopped going parriliced when she saw what her mom was holding in her hand.

"Just in case you need them." Olivia was holding out a pack of condoms.

"That is not what is gonna happen! we are just watching a movie mom"

"I remember when I was your age. Just be safe alright?"

"Fine give those and get going! You and dad had a reservation?" Hannah gave up protesting to her mom. Knowing her it would be best just to get it over with and then divert the conversation. Her mother's sudden change in opinions about boys had Hannah a little baffled. How could her mom go from her not talking on the phone with boys to handing her condoms? Her mom must really approve of Tony. Hannah had no trouble seeing why, Tony was very different from the rest of his pears. Both in looks and in the way he sees people, meets people. Getting to know him was something Hannah felt lucky about, she was his friend, she had gotten the notion that being called Tony's friend is a privilege.  
She looks in the mirror again, she doesn't know why she feels her stomach drop and become heavy as stone, when only a moment ago it had been tingling and filling with butterflies.

She couldn't wollow in that now she didn't have time, so she put on her imaginary closed packed shelf with things to deal with later. Now she needed to ready the snacks and make sure to hide the embarrassing childhood pictures displayed proudly by her parents.

The doorbell rang just as she was about to put the popcorns in the microwave. She left the brown paper back on the counter and rushed to the door, glad her parents had left already. She wasn't sure she could handle her mom being more emarising this evening.

"Funny seeing you here." she opened the door with a smile, and the feeling that makes it come naturally.

"Funny?" he raised an eyebrow at her. "Do explain. If I remember correctly I was invited to a movie night."

"I never invited you over, you decided it on your own that my couch was better than yours to watch movies on." she opened the door wider to let him through the door

"I stand corrected, I remember inviting myself over for movie night then." the lightness in his voice was all she needed for that ignored knot in her stomach to loosen, even if it just a bit.

"Come in, make yourself at home." she closed the door after him, Hannah didn't wait for him to take his shoes and jacked off, she went to back to her previous activity of microwaving the popcorns.

"Where did you go." he asked, from the direction of his voice it sounded like the living room.

"Kitchen" she answered. It didn't take more that a few seconds before he was in the kitchen with her.

"What do you want to drink?" Hannah asked as she pulled two classes out.

"What do you got?"

"look in the fridge and choose something. Just get me the pepsi."

"Seriously who can drink this?" Tony says as he pulls out cherry coke.

"I have no idea, that is disgusting. But my dad seems to likes it."

"Do you want ice?"

"If you got any."

"If we got any, he says." She just rolls her eyes at him and take both the classes to the fringe door pushes a button and ice falls into the glasses. with glasses filled and popcorn done in a bowl they moved everything to the living room.

They had picked a movie beforehand to make sure they wouldn't keep scrolling and not agreeing on anything. They both watch it, sometimes one or the other comments on something but it doesn't stop them from watching the movie.

"My mom thinks your my boyfriend." she says out of the blue halfway into the movie. She didn't meant to hurl it out, but is just spurts out of her. Tony is silent for a second. Thinking, before smiling out not gazing towards before he speaks.

"In a way I kind of am, aren't I?" he grins, letting his eyes shortly meet hers before continuing to watch the movie and throw popcorns in his mouth. Hannah doesn't really see the rest of the movie, she just shuffles closer and enjoy this small bit of happiness. She she grabs a pillow before lying down, with her head nearly in Tonys lap. She feels him going tense for a second through the pillow, before relaxing into her cuddling.

She wants to cry and smile all at the same time. Hannah realices in this moment that maybe her statement about not being into Tony wasn't that true anymore. Confused about her own feelings she settles for just being in the moment, feel the warmth he radiates. She goes back to watching the movie, somehow more relaxed then before.

"I don't know what is worse, unrequited love or that people you thought were your friends stab you in the back" the movie is nearly over as Hannah comments on it.

" I'd take the backstabbing." he says as he starts running his fingers through her hair.

"But why?" she turned to look up at him.

"A stab is easy survive, you just tell yourself you will see it through, that is temporary. Heartsickness on the other hand will have you weeping for days on end, leaving you ready to give up on everything." His face goes cold, when he says it, as if hiding beneath a mask.

"Have you tried it." Hannah couldn't help but wonder out loud.

"No, I never had friends that would do that to me."

"No I mean the heartbreaking" Tony's mask slipped and the sullen expression that replaced it told her everything she needed to know.

"Let's just say it hurts to love someone that doesn't love you back the same."


	7. Chapter 7

Hannah looks up from her notebook filled with thoughts and feelings. She doesn't know why she feels the compulsion to look up, but what she sees make her smile.

The red Mustang she has come to know was parked in front of her house. Her smile quickly disappeared when she saw Tony's face. Even from here, she could see that there were something wrong with the hispanic boy.

His normal carefree smile was replaced with a frown. Hannah wondered what he was doing here, why he didn't just come to the front door.

Hannah rose from her desk and all but ran to the front door. With haste she grabbed her jacked and slipping into a pair of sneakers.

"Where are you going, honey?" her mom called from the kitchen table, only just taking a glance at her daughter before going back to doing the numbers for the shop.

"Tony's outside."

"Oh okay, get home before curfew." Hannah saw the soft smile on her mother's lips and was glad that this relationship she had gotten into with Tony. Even if Hannah herself couldn't put words on what they had, she was glad it was there.

"Yes mom!?" she half yelled already out of the the front door.

Tony must have been deep in thought because he didn't see her approach him. He suddenly gave a jump when Hannah got in the passenger seat.

"What are you doing here?"

"That is my line!" she pulled a disappointed face. She knew, she looked funny, witch was the point, but Tony didn't laugh at her as he usually did. He just smiled, but somehow it just fell flat compared to how he would usury radiate energy and worth.

"What's wrong?" Hannah was concerned for Tony. He newer used to be anything like this around her, but you never truly know someone, she wanted to. Wanted to know all of him and be there for him like he had been there for her, on her darkest days.

"I'm just having a shit day." he answered after a moment of silence.

"Okay. Wanna talk about it?" Hannah understood rainy days and worse those days that was so far down in the dubs that they were just shit. Hannah couldn't help but feel her heart flutter and her stomach slowly growing warm. A good heat like the bonfire on a cold summer night, the kind that spread in your hole body and stays with you even when you move away.

"No, not really." even if he didn't want to talk about it Hannah was still glad and in some place honored that he would drive here, go to her with his shit days even if he hadn't walked the last distance between them.

"Hmm, wasn't it you that said something about talking about it would make it better." That made him smile truly, not fake nor brilliant and bright, but with sadness. Showing his true feeling instead of putting on the mask people so often hide behind. Sadness Hannah could handel, but Tony faking it, she wasn't sure

"That's irony" he says, before going back to being silent.

"So what are we doing this late afternoon?" Hannah asked with joy spilling over in her voice.

"What?" he turned to her looking confused.

"If we're not going to talk about it, then we are going to do something." Hannah was determined to do something with Tony, for Tony.

"What should we do?"

"I don't know what we should do, what would you like to do?"

"I feel like hiking." She answered after some time thinking.

"Then let's go hiking" Tony turned to look at her, a minute at silence went by before he spoke sounding a little more like himself.

"It's gonna be a long walk are you sure you wanna come?"

"Of course" Hannah smiled and felt excitement stir in her stomach as Tony started the engine.

"But you're buying me dinner."

"Is takeout okay with you, dear lady?" A juvenile wonder creeping into his voice.

"The best kind of food." they both giggled a bit. Just like that everything was back to normal. They drove of to the diner, getting an order to go. They didn't eat the food as they drove or walked the long winding path ascending the hill and cliffs overlooking a bigger aria of nature spreading out away from the small city they lived in.

It wasn't the most romantic dinner or even a good dinner. Cold junk food doesn't have the same appeal as when it is hot and newly made.  
But neither of them said a word as they hungrily ate their food sitting on near the edge of the cliff.  
The hike had been hard enough that Hannah was glad for the rest, she feared if they was to walk any further up, her legs would bugel under her. Her feet was acting weirdly, they would shift from being numb to being sore. She didn't know what was best, the not feeling or the soreness. She hoped for the feeling of her legs and feet, when heeding to walk back down again. Better walk on sore feet then fall over in the dark because the sensation of being on the ground beneath her was gone.

The view made up for the long walk and aching feet. It was green as far as her eye could reach. Tree canopies that showed the underbrush in small glinces, as if the they were showing her a secret world beneath. The smell of fresh leaves and pine combine with the sweet smell of earth made something in her fall down, felt at peace as she sat beside Tony on the thick blanked he had produced from the trunk of his car.

What took her breath away was the fading light, painting everything in a different shade of orange, red, pink and purple. Hannah couldn't help but feel blessed in this moment. she looked to her companion to share this with, but her feeling of ecstasy faded quickly as Tony with the same brooding expression as he had earlier. Back when she had seen him through her window. He was looking out over the horizon, not feeling her eyes on him.

Bathed in the soft light he looked different, not just his brooding expression, but Tony's skin seemed to glow. Hannah noted for the first time that his eyes had small specs of green in the dark brown. The dying light made his eyes seams like liquid amber. Hannah felt the realization like a sledgehammer, she liked the way he looked. Finding that she liked the way he was and who he is.

Where was something about this place that made her feel at peace with herself, or maybe it wasn't the place, maybe it was just Tony that made feel it. He had been the the best, not expecting anything from her. That made her heart warm. Hannah couldn't help but laugh at herself, a little horrified that she hadn't seen it before.

She takes his hand and gives it a squeeze before letting him go again. The don't say anything, just smile at one another, before going bag to look at the fading light.

"Are you sure you don't wanna talk." she asks when the last light disappears from the heavens.

"Yes."

"Just making sure." they both grow silent again. The quiet between them is as it has always been filled with nothing and everything, not needing words to communicate.

"I like the stars. They remind you that no matter how dark it seems to get there is always small specs of light in it if you take your time to look for it." Tony says as the stars start to show on the dark deep sky above them. He lays back on the blanked, Hannah dos the same. She want to see what he sees to understand him and to be able to see it herself. To be able to see the light in the dark even if she wasn't around Tony.

Hannah has never seen starlight just like this, being a city girl there had always been too much light or noise distracting from the small beauty that seemed infinitive.

It didn't matter her feat aced and the food had been horrible cold, because gazing at the stars was all she could wish for.

"Its peaceful." Hannay bearly whispers af if not to break the spell of the twinkling light above her. Tony just hums in agreement. They are lying on a thick blanket shoulders touching fingers grasping each other.

The feeling that started in her gut the first time he took her out had slowly spread and was now creeping up to her heart. She felt happy here. Felt like if she didn't gap Tony's hand in hers she would fly away, get lost in the sea of drak nothingness. He doesn't say a word just squises her hand. They just lay there together Hannah is sure if she closes her eyes can hear stars sing.

She doesn't though, she doesn't close her eyes. She wonders if the stars will make Tony look even more different then the dying light did. The tingling sensation in her stomach is a combination of fear and joy, of want and shouldn't.

Hannah had never been one to hold away from what she wants, not when it is so small and simple a thing. No one will know if she took this moment and hid it away for a rainy day, no one needed to know that she wanted this moment to last forever. But that is how moments are, they are just that, moments. If she was to keep it in her heart she wanted the whole picture; the dark vast emptiness filled with stars, a thin sliver of moon reflecting the day and wanted to see the boy beside her in it. Know in every way, in every light.

There is just something magical about it all. When she turns to look at Tony she feel her heart stop just for a moment. Before she knows what she is doing she has rolled into a halfway sitting position, she is leaning in and kissing him softly.

She can't help but find a urge to run her fingers tuge his hair, so she dos. Hannah lets the hand on Tonys cheek find his buzzed sides. The texture of it teases her senses like the smell of him dos. She feels the fear fleas away as the softness of his longer hair is run in between her fingers and the softness of his lips on hers.

Tony is surprised by Hannah suddenly kissing him. He doesn't push her away, he doesn't kiss back though. Hannah pulls back when she realizes that Tony goes stiff under her. She sees his frown and doesn't understand, did she do something wrong? They had been going out for a time now, they had held hands and he had kissed her forehead before, why was he frowning now?

"Hannah." And the tone of his voice tells her that whatever they was, that was gonna be over. The fear dug into her heart, harder and stronger then it had been in her just moments before. She didn't want to lose this happiness. This might be the only happiness she was gonna get, he was the reason for that happiness.

"I really like you Hannah, but as a friend." She can't help but laugh, an empty thing. Feeling the sting of rejection. He had build her up, taken every broken piece of her and shoved her to how to collect them. Just to break them apart again.

"I'm not good enough for you?" The words sting the both of them. She hadn't wanted to say anything, wanted to make it worse. But she couldn't stop the words that was floating out of her. "You can't love a slut" she pulls away from him. Tony's eyes filled with nothing but kindness and understanding, she just couldn't looking into them, it hurt worse than a slap to the face.

"I do love you Hannah, you are my friend and I don't think you are a slut. I wish I could be what you need, but I just dont like girls that way. I thought it was obvious." He smiles at her and reaches out a hand out and pushes her hair behind her ear. Hannah can't help but feel stupid at laugh at her own outbreak, because the whole situation was just somehow hilarious.

"Of Course your gay."

"Is that a problem?" Tony is fast to turn defenceiv

"No it's just…" she laughs again and lies back down this time with her head on his chest. "Why are all the good guys gay?" She asks rhetorically.

"I don't know, chica" The hand around her back holding her was enough for her to start crying uncontrollably into Tony's shirt. Hannah hung onto him as he cradled her in his arms. It took an age before she was empty for tears, but when the tears stopped she felt relieved. Looking up at Tony bathed in the moonlight under the stars she felt relieved and content, because she now knew that the thing in her chest wasn't that she had fallen in love with her friend. she had simply learn to love herself, Tony had taught her to demand respect and taught her to see her own worth, how to love herself. Or so she told herself. Hannah lend up and pressed a small kiss on his cheek. She knew this couldn't last no matter how much she wished it. She was glad and sad that she had kissed him, better to see the ugly truth rather than be blinded by a lie.

"Thank you. Tony" she said as she continued to cry silent tears as all they had been dissolved like smoke.


End file.
